Nothing Works

Nothing you TRY to do works.
It's like pushing a boulder up a steep hill,
like doing the breaststroke
headlong into a mighty river current.
It's like picking a scab so the wound heals faster,
only to start the healing process all over,
this time with a scar.

Today, I feel like a scar.

Whatever the lesson is,
I'll never learn it
and I'm so tired.
tired of running
and tired of staying
wishing i could just be still
and be at peace.

Going back doesn't feel like a celebration.

Feels more like going home
after taking a wicked beating
and admitting in silence
that you were a coward.

Am I? A coward?